People thinking they know what’s best for you when you live with chronic ilnesses😴

My story with this one🤦🏻‍♀️

I think it’s fair to say that I am an advocate for all things self love and self care and this means listening to your body. As I have experienced chronic pain throughout childhood meaning I was off school but now also M.E due to gkandulafever taking me off college, I would be very rich if I had a pound everytime someone to me ‘get up and go to school, then I will be better’. Sorry, but no! There is this idea that people can’t struggle and if you have pains everywhere you either caused them or you are making it  up to stay of off work or school because you are ‘lazy’. This way of thinking has affected me for so long because as a child in chronic pain, I missed a LOT of school and my mum always listened to me and everytime I complained of pain, I was right as confirmed by the doctors eventually.

However, my mum and sister were the only supportive ones and I always got told I was lazy and maybe I didn’t like school but I had to go, you can’t be tired at that age and people told my mum to just send me to school then I would be ‘fine’. This isn’t true, chronic ilness and chronic pain excist no matter the age, how they look as only 20% of disabilities are even visible, where they come from etc. It’s time to break the stigma that people with chronic ilnesses and pain are just lazy and need to just exercise then they would feel better😤!

I wrote this little chapter for myself after hearing I was lazy and needed to get back to college despite having M.E, anorexia and scarlet fever at the time…

People will always act and believe that they know what is best for you in situations, but remember they’re opinion doesn’t de value you or have to make you feel bad because at the end of the day, your in your body they aren’t and just because you aren’t well doesn’t mean you don’t know your needs any less. For example when someone tells you to just get out of bed and do something like find a job because it will make you feel better just think to yourself, they may believe this, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. I can feel pain, I’m struggling today and I just want and need to stay inside is then do it because that’s how YOU feel and most of the times YOU know best. They don’t feel that pain in your legs or the fog covering ur brain all day long that makes simple tasks impossible so why believe someone who doesn’t know how that feels and feel pressured to act on their choices, act on yours, you’re the one living in your body. 

I also like little mantras to myself that maybe can help some of you;

•you are in your body not them

•don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to

•you are allowed to feel pain and ilness, you aren’t lying, you are human

•are brain isn’t tricking us into thinking we’re ill (this can get confusing) we are ill!

•being ill and at home doesn’t mean your any less special than anyone else

•linked to my previous post, difference isn’t bad and it’s okay to do things later

•YOU know how YOU feel so trust your opinion not your doctors, friends or family❤️

and lastly🤓….

Please don’t ever feel like you have to do something because someone told you you could or you should. Please take care of yourself and listen to your body, that’s why we feel pain ultimately so we can listen to our bodies when something is wrong. When you here these comments push them away and repeat ‘I know how I feel best, it’s my body’ and carry on with your day as you see fit! Self love and self care are so important in chronic ilness, so practice them all day long my loves! Ignore the negativity and keep shining✨Xoxoxox